Comments on: reaching out

By: Wendy

Wendy — Thu, 15 May 2008 01:13:40 +0000

Wow. I’ve never been answered so quickly before. Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this matter. Your thoughts have been very helpful. I do pray for her. And that is good advise. The rest of the post was very insightful and I am grateful for your candor. I’m mostly just a lurker but I’ll be back.

By: ivfmama

ivfmama — Wed, 14 May 2008 01:50:55 +0000

Great post! I remember knowing that my fertile friends felt awkward around me. I hated that! There are still times when a certain comment will rub me the wrong way, but I think time softens the blows.

And kudos to the reader that wants to be a sensitive friend! We wish there were more of you out there!

By: Karen @ Surviving Motherhood

Karen @ Surviving Motherhood — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:30:02 +0000

What a helpful post you have written here. Thanks for sharing your heart and your thoughts.
I do not have any friends who are currently dealing with this issue, but I appreciate hearing your perspective so I have a better idea of how I can be helpful when I do encounter the situation.
*Thanks*

By: Janna

Janna — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:32:11 +0000

Nice entry-I know how difficult it is to be the one with the kids dealing with a friend who has infertility issues. When my first was born, she was there and we were like a threesome. Cindy, Alex(my baby at the time) and I would get together all the time and shop, go swimming, etc. She was trying to get pregnant and I was there for her and we talked and she saw the dark side of parenting with me and Alex. When I got pregnant again(without trying) I was afraid to tell her because I didn’t want her to feel bad and I felt bad because I didn’t want to hurt my best friend. She finally figured it out when I threw up one morning at her house. She was upset that I felt that I thought she couldn’t rejoice with me and be happy for me. I felt guilty that I could get pregnant so easily and she couldn’t. She said God does different things in different people’s lives to teach them what they needed to know.

I wrote this so you could see that being friends can transcend fertility, kids, lack of both, etc. You and I are an example of that.

Love ya D

Yes, we transcended all kinds of “stuff” didn’t we. love you too “Moe”
Deirdre

By: grace

grace — Tue, 13 May 2008 15:57:42 +0000

Wow, kudos to this person for actually having empathy for her friend.
Infertility is such an isolating thing, you often feel like no one else even is TRYING to understand or sympathize or care. I know that is not true, but it is how it often FEELS.

The nicest thing a friend ever did for me was to drop me a note in the mail saying that she was praying for me, and that she was trusting God that I would have a child one day.

I still have that note and it still makes me cry to read it. So, I would say that a note, sent snail mail, is such an awesome thing to get.

And, whatever you do, don’t jokingly tell her ‘you can adopt one of my kids!’

Just- “I’m praying for you” is enough.

I know what you mean. I have a blog friend who constantly reminds me that God has a child for me. We don’t know who, or where, or how, or when. But he DOES have a child for me. She is a treasure who encourages me daily, even though she has four kids and you would think we would have “nothing in common” I just pray I can be used of God to encourage others in their area of need.