Okay. So I’m infertile. Alright God. Fine. You have another plan for me and my darling hubby. We’ll adopt. We’ll work with the youth group. We’ll get in shape and have time for more Bible study.
It’s fine. Really.
But WHY. Why God did you have to make/let THREE couples in my immediate circle get pregnant? and ALL three of them are on roughly the schedule I would have been on if my last IVF had “taken” !!!!!! 17, 18 and 21 weeks.
To say I’m angry with you God would be an exaggeration. I know there is a plan. I know it is all for good. But I am …..what’s a good word here?…..irritated.
Yup that’s it. I’m irritated. Was this torture necessary? Am I supposed to be learning something from having endless joyful updates on the development of these three pregnancies? What about the endless discussions that ensue in my office full of advice-giving women?
Do you have a baby out there for me that is only 18 weeks along? and I’m getting to vicariously participate a little bit in the joys and fun of these three couples so that when my baby arrives in my life I will know a tiny little bit of what it might have been like to bear her myself?
Wouldn’t that be cool? Weird, but cool.