Well I did it.
I finally apologized to someone that I mistreated a few years ago.
She was a co-worker that I had a really bad attitude towards. I tried to be nice (on the outside) I even invited her to my church a bunch of times. I was smugly going about “heaping coals of kindness on my enemies heads”
The problem with that is if you continue to regard the person as an enemy, the whole project doesn’t work. I THOUGHT I was hiding my horrible attitude pretty well. But I was wrong.
See, right before she left us to go to a new office we had a big argument/discussion in which she told me how my body language and face had told her all along exactly how much I didn’t like her. Even when I was trying to ACT nice. Never mind all the days when I didn’t bother trying to hide it. Ouch.
But here was the big kick-in-the-pants:
She also told me that if I was an example of the kind of people who went to my church. ………
She. Didn’t. Want. To. Get. Anywhere. Near. Us.
Ouch, ouch and double ouch.
I had just spent three years being the worst possible witness for God ever in the history of the world. To someone who might could have been a friend if I had bothered to ever give her a chance. But I judged her based on a trivial occurrence and once we got off on that proverbial “wrong foot” I never even tried to correct my course.
That one statement from her has haunted me for two years. It’s been eating me worse than usual lately, so I figure God is telling me to own up to her that she was right. This morning I wrote her long heartfelt letter ( I was too scared to go to her face-to-face, and it helped me to put it in writing). I told her that I knew I was wrong and I thanked her for being used of God to make me realize it. And I told her, in writing, that I was sorry.
Pray for me though. I got a very short answer “apology accepted” which was great, but I had so hoped she would forgive me. Pray for me to fully realize that my forgiveness is based in the blood of Jesus and learn to rejoice in the simple fact that I obeyed HIM.