praying for the Chapmans, and “my” baby

okay, this is so un-original this week, but I’m praying for the Chapmans.  Especially the son.  Oh that boy has got to be in agony right now.

The weird part for me is that although I was sad for them, none of this really hit me in the gut till I read on the Chapman’s blog yesterday that someone was actually on the phone with Steven when the accident happened.  I read about the scream of anguish that ripped out of Steven as he dropped the phone, the sounds of confusion and weeping………. and THAT’S when this all became real for me.

Is that weird?  I don’t really follow Steven Curtis Chapman that much.  I like his music, but I never read his blog till after Maria died, so I didn’t feel, as so many many others did, that they knew the family and Maria in a personal way.  So it really took something more for me to feel it, ya know?

I’m not a total jerk, honest, I just didn’t know the family, so it all left me feeling kind of horrified and sad,  but mostly numb.

Now if something happened to one of Janna’s kids, or Missy’s or Emilie’s or Duren’s I would be on a plane or in a car the next minute to go to them.

I don’t have kids of my own yet.  But I’m reminded that that very sentence is a fallacy: No child will ever be MINE.  Even if I care for them from birth.  Even if I nurse them and kiss every skinned knee and watch them grow up and teach them and love them their whole lives, they will never be MINE.  All children (and all of US) belong to GOD.

Letting go is never easy, but I have to remember that even the child being carried right now somewhere in the midwest who will (if all goes well) be coming home with us in November IS NOT MINE,  he or she belongs to God.  Now and forever.

Lord Jesus, help me to remember always that I am yours and that any child you entrust to my care is just that: a temporary trust and ALL for YOUR GLORY.


2 thoughts on “praying for the Chapmans, and “my” baby

  1. Thanks for the reminder! Sometimes in trying to protect them we forget that our hands are so tiny compared to God’s and it’s his hands who are truly holding them.

    Wow Marci what a beautiful image.


  2. I was also so shaken to hear this news.

    I first got word of the accident the night it happened, from someone on the Bethany adoption message boards. And then later that evening to hear that little Maria passed away.
    I am still shaken, and now a little freaked out as I watch kids play in our neighborhood. 😦
    The Chapmans have done such a wonderful thing with their adoption ministry, so I feel like I “know” them in a way, though of course I don’t!!

    I hope I was respectful of the feelings of those, like yourself who really feel close to the Chapmans. I know we all have friends who are very dear that we have only met through blogs etc. Please know that I join you in fervent prayers for healing and grace in this hour.


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