today’s list of gratitude

There are good things that have come out of this past weekend. But before I start listing them I want to make sure to say this: God is Good. Even if this weekend had been unadulterated sorrow, God would STILL be Good.

But it wasn’t all awful or tense. This past weekend, just like normal life, was a blend of good, bad and blessed. You already read the bad stuff yesterday, now here’s some of the good parts.

1. We met and learned to love our agent in Kansas. They are wonderful people who open their home to birth-mothers and adoptive families alike. And their home is enormous. I think the dinning room table was over 30 feet long!!!!

2. We had safe travel.

3. We got to drive down to Oklahoma City and spend time with Martin’s brother Byron and his family on the fourth of July, so we were there for a family and friends cookout and then we all sat on the back porch and watched fireworks. It was a much needed fun time with the nephews. What a blessing.

4. The next day we all got up, saw Byron and his family off and then Martin and I got to go back to sleep. Byron trusted us to lock up the house so we got a long morning of extra sleep. There is no possible way I could convey to you just how much we needed that right then.

5. After a peaceful morning locking up Byron’s house we drove downtown to the Oklahoma City bombing memorial. It was amazing. so peaceful and beautiful. there is a tree there, I think it is an elm, that lived through the bombing. it was in a parking lot and surrounded by burning cars, but it lived. The power of hope and faith over tragedy could not have been made more clear. I really think God made sure that we visited that memorial because he knew we would need that peaceful memory.

6. With all the driving and waiting in airports we got caught up on a week and a half of bible study.

7. Once we got back to Kansas we spent time getting to know the two other adoptive families that were staying at the house with us. Amy is an absolute hoot and Jennifer & Kevin were quiet, peaceful loving souls who helped us a lot when our hearts were breaking. thank you for letting me hold your baby Ryan for hours at a time. that was just what I needed to restore perspective. and LaFaye, you are a treasure.

8. We got to see the best display of fireworks (on Sunday) I think I’ve ever personally witnessed.

9. the sermon on Sunday was phenomenal. I don’t know the preacher’s name, but I’m looking forward to another trip to Kansas so we can hear him again. He spoke God’s heart straight from the Word.

10. One of the side effects of this whole mess has been getting some time to spend in a bubble with my husband. So often we are both just running the rat race that we don’t get time to cherish each other much. But in this stress-filled, weird weekend we got to spend a lot of time caring for each other’s hearts.

11. We have found a great deal of solace in the comforting words and hugs of our friends, and even made a few new friends. One specifically I have to mention: C.G. I am so glad we have come to a better understanding of each other’s hearts. I look forward to watching you and your baby grow and laugh and play. You are a delight.

12. On the way home as Martin and I were processing our feelings there were two people I wanted to talk to (other than my husband and my Lord) one was my choir director whom I consider to be kind of like a pastor. His is a small congregation to be sure, but he does minister to us, admonish us and teach us. The other person whose voice I wanted to hear is Missy. Now folks, let’s be honest. This. Made. No. Sense. I had never heard Missy’s voice before. I only know her through blog-land. We email a fair amount and she is an amazing person, but why, every time the conversation around me lagged would I cry in the stillness of my heart “I want to hear MISSY” ?????? well I told her about it, just as funny story the next day on email and she gave me her number. I called her last night and oh wow. NOW I know why I needed her voice. Because amongst all the girl talk and the fun stories I heard words of reassurance and blessing from the LORD God. We talked for at least two hours last night. Thank you Lord Jesus for Missy.

So you see, there was much to be grateful for from our experience this past weekend. Life is good, God is good, and God will move to give us a child when He is ready.

thanks for reading.

Deirdre

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5 thoughts on “today’s list of gratitude

  1. Deirdre,

    I am so sorry to hear that your weekend was not as you hoped. I am inspired to hear you lay your blessings on the table.

    God has plans for you. I think it was Angie who said there is no plan B. It may be our plan B, but it has been God’s plan A all along and he doesn’t make mistakes. He knows your heart and he hears when it sings and when it weeps. I pray that his will for your world will be laid out for you and you will feel your heart sing as it’s revealed to you.

    My prayers are with you!

    Marci

    Marci,
    wow, what a beautiful comment. Thank you. and yes, this IS plan A.
    I love Angie’s blog. I check it every day to see what new, profound concept she has written about. she is just so incredibly open to God. she makes my heart ache for heaven when I will be able to sit for just years with her and chat.
    Deirdre

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  2. Dear Deirdre,
    Reading about your weekend, and all that has happened – part of me wants to say I’m sorry things didn’t work out with this couple and the baby.
    But I know – and I know YOU KNOW – God is good and His plans are best. I like what Marci said about Angie’s Plan B/Plan A thought. I agree with her. So, while I am sorry for your heart break and sadness, I am trusting God with you and believing His perfect Plan A is yet to be revealed.
    Keep holding on to Him, Deirdre. His love endures forever.

    Loving Jesus,
    Karen

    Hi Karen,
    We are resting in God right now. and watching while HE arranges things in amazing ways. More about that next week. 😉
    Deirdre

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  3. Wow, Dierdre…This is my first time here and I’m SUCKED IN. I too am IF but have been amazingly blessed with success my first round of IVF. I want to read more about your IF journey and what your diagnosis is. Our community of infertile couples always needs to stick together…but, as I love what you said in another post…it is NOT what we are all about. There truly is more to us than IF! 🙂

    I’ll surely be back…A LOT…and be praying for your journey to have God-filled success.

    My diagnosis is basically lots of scarring from endometriosis, three different surgeries and two major cysts. The upshot of which is that I would have to have VERY personal attention from God for conception and pregnancy occur.
    We had always planned to adopt, but the diagnosis just stepped up the time table.
    thanks for stopping by. Come back any time.
    Deirdre

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  4. Vaclempt is from Saturday Night Live – remember the Mike Meyers skit?

    um…no. I was incredibly sheltered growing up. I didn’t encounter SNL till college. I remember passing by the TV while other girls were watching it in our dorm. I think I saw one skit and thought to myself “huh. I don’t really get the appeal” and I moved on. It’s like some folks adore the stooges and some are Marx brothers fans. different strokes for different folks, ya know?

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