I have a new baby in the house. did you know?
And for two weeks I had her all to myself. I had two glorious weeks of just me and Ginny.
To be fair, I had help. My mother kept me sane. There was even one day when she came over and kept Ginny for three hours while I had a bath. LUXURY! so it’s not like I was completely by myself with Ginny.
But the point is that for two weeks I was completely absorbed by this adorable little girl. My brain and heart were taken up entirely with Ginny. Changing Ginny. Feeding Ginny. Playing with Ginny. Bathing Ginny. Doing laundry, even doing dishes was mostly Ginny oriented, because I was cleaning stuff for her.
and. I. LOVED. It.
but there were elements of my life that slipped away during those two weeks. I really didn’t have much in the way of conversational skills. If it didn’t pertain to Ginny, I had no comment or contribution to any conversation. A couple of times I even forgot to eat. I was completely Ginny oriented.
And this is a good thing.
But another thing that slipped out of my life was God. I had no devotional life at all. I used to fantasize about the time I was going to spend at home for my short stint as a stay-at-home mom.
In my dreams I was always dressed and in my right mind. I would cuddle my sleeping child, put her down for a nap and then, while sipping a cup of tea, I would read my Bible and use the time to mature in Christ. The smell of dinner roasting in the oven would waft through the air. The house would be neat and tidy. And when my child awoke, I would sing songs to her. Hymns of the faith that she would grow up knowing in her marrow because of the time her mommy spent singing them to her from her earliest days.
for the record. Only ONE part of that actually happened: I DID sing hymns to Ginny. But I discovered that I only know the first verse of just about any hymn. There are only so many repetitions of “this is the day” that I’m willing to do ya’ll. So I also sang Broadway musicals and various kiddie songs……….. and sometimes I didn’t sing at all. There were at least a few feedings where I just talked to her. (I am so ashamed)
But most of that fantasy just didn’t happen.
I was decently dressed, some of the time, but I was almost never in my right mind. Frazzled would be a much better description. I don’t think I made a single pot of tea the whole two weeks. I didn’t cook dinner even once and the house was only neat for the evening that the social worker was coming over. And my Bible? it gathered dust.
and here’s the worst part: I. Didn’t. Even. Notice.
Then came the day I needed to return to work.
I left my daughter in the capable hands of my husband.
I got in the car. I turned on the car. I turned on the headlights. (yes, I do remember how to do this. Good.) I put it in gear and pulled out of the driveway. Then I turned on the CD player which happened to have a worship CD cued up…………And the simple act of singing along with a scripture verses CD (SEEDS, courage) during my commute refreshed my soul. Wow. You know you are starved for the Word when singing Jeremiah 33:3 brings such indescribable joy.
I have new respect for Christian stay-at-home moms who actually manage to have a spiritual walk. It was so seductively easy to slip away from God and just worship Ginny instead. I love my daughter to distraction, but that can not be allowed to take precedence over my walk with God.
alright, you’ve read this far. as a reward, here are some photos of Ginny.