slow change, a slow dance

sometimes I think big changes are easier.

conversion experiences are dramatic and no one is really surprised when you start acting differently, or give up certain pursuits.

What I find difficult is living out the slow changes God is trying to make in my life.  Especially in my attitudes and actions at work. (anybody else with me here?)

I know the economy is bad.  Everyone is freaked out. But I should not be joining in with the crowd of freaked out, worried people.

My husband is prudent with our savings, we have jobs, we have paid down most of the credit debt.

and GOD SAY’S I’M SUPPOSED TO TRUST IN HIM

What must my co-workers think of me if I join in the frantic, worried, stressed out crowd? They will see someone who SAYS she is a Christian, but who doesn’t really trust God.

This is what it means to BE a witness for God.

I don’t want to talk to people about my faith, I want them to see me living a life of Trust in God.  Eventually they will ask.  They will ask me, or they will ask someone else. But they will ask.

I know all this.  I believe it.   But I have trouble living it.  Especially when I’ve messed up before.  These are the same people who saw me yesterday being fretful about the economy.  That makes it hard to come in today and BE different.

But I have to.  Or rather, I have to let God be different in me.

I know God loves me.  Me.  silly, sinful, flawed overweight me.  God Loves Me.

If I can wrap my brain around that, I will be able to live in the surety to His love and care.

I don’t’ know why but for some reason (Maybe it’s Melissa’s fault for talking about high school dances and songs from the 80s)  there is a sappy song running through my head right now and I’m imagining God singing it to me.

Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heavens
I’ve been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.

Ill bring fires in the winters
Youll send showers in the springs
Well fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I’ll be in love with you.

Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heavens
I’ve been in love with you
I am in love with you.
.

Can we really GET IT? that God loves EACH of us this much.

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