otherwise known as “it is dark behind the Christmas Tree”
We tried (just like every year) to have a low-key Christmas season but it just didn’t happen. Between
- Journey to Bethlehem (which didn’t happen due to inclement weather, but we got to spend a lot of time planning and organizing and being ready for it anyway)
- co-writing, directing, costuming and staging a new monologue each week in our church services
- learning to run the ProPresenter booth at church
- trying to keep up my job application volume (it never pays to let momentum slow down in a job search)
- choir commitments
- trying to find time to keep up with aerobics class (this one we let slip)
- keeping a general structure and schedule for Ginny
- decorating the house
- planning a 14 hour drive to Dallas to see Martin’s side of the family
- Christmas cards/letters
my head was spinning.
By New Years day I was a basket case.
We are really no busier than other people I guess, but when you add to all this stuff an underlying current of sadness…I finally lost it. Martin left the room for a few minutes on New Years Day and when he came back he couldn’t find me. I was curled up, under and behind the Christmas tree. The mourning from my job lay-off had finally surfaced and I just didn’t have any more strength to resist it. It is plain and simple.
I. Want. MY. Job. Back.
Yes, God is in charge.
Yes, it will all be fine.
But while embracing the changes and relying on God for His good provision, I had skipped over the mourning phase of this whole mess.
Martin eventually found me under the tree and talked to me till he could get me to laugh. Once I was laughing at the whole thing I finally climbed out from under the tree and life went on. Thank goodness Ginny was at my mom’s for the day.
Why am I telling you this? Why am I publishing it to the world on a blog?
Because I think this kind of thing happens far more than we like to admit. Normal people have small dark patches in their lives. Normal Christians grieve. Even over things like lost jobs.
Now on to the fun stuff. Wanna see pictures from Christmas and the days following? Of course you do. Especially when I promise that there are NO photos at all of me curled up behind the Tree. Martin wanted to take one but I wouldn’t let him. He said I looked cute under there. Not really what I was going for actually.
You will notice that this is not much snow really. But it was enough to count. Please keep this photo in mind when I show you the snow we got just a few weeks later.
This pretty much sums up most of how we looked on the Texas trip. Frazzled, tired, but happy.
it is out of focus, but since Ginny and Emily hardly ever stopped moving, getting them in focus was a bit difficult.
On the drive home from Texas we stopped overnight in Jackson, MS at a friend’s house. She has a ceramics shop, so before we left the next day we all went and painted some things. Ginny will have her very own set of dishes that she painted herself. She also painted the shop cat, but we didn’t get to bring her home.
More in my next post. This one is already too long.