it was a total shock

When I lost my job back in October it was a total shock.  Martin had lost his job to a lay-off as well just a year before.  The temptation was to try to figure out what we did wrong. Did God want us to move? Become missionaries?

Why was this happening to us?

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all a disaster.  Many good things came out of the lay-off.

I got to spend loads of precious time with Ginny.  Nothing can replace these months I have had with her.  Just being with a joyful, bubbling two year old can be such a joy.  Okay it can be a headache too sometimes, but mostly it has been a fun-filled time that I wouldn’t give up for anything.

Through the crossroads ministry at my church  I got to examine my work style and what I really needed to look for in my next place of employment.  Instead of just hoping for a good fit, I learned how to do my part to achieve that goal.

I met amazing people through the various interviews and got to spread sunshine and a small taste of hope to a lot of people through my consistently, deliberately cheerful facebook and (mostly)blog posts.

Joining Bible study on Tuesday mornings and Aerobics on M-W-F was a huge treat for me.  I was getting to do all those things a stay-at-home mommy does.  And I loved it.  We got to play with our neighbor’s mom’s group and  I seriously started to wonder if perhaps God was saying that I should stay home.  Lord, was this the message?  Should we cut back our budget and struggle through with just Martin’s part-time salary?

Not quite ready to give up on the dream of going back to work, and to keep myself current in an office environment, I started volunteering at my church.  Just basic administrative tasks, but they were things that needed doing and allowed me to explore the possibility of one day working in a church office.  I like the thought.  So Margie, when you retire, just call me, okay?

Was that the purpose of my lay-off?  to move me in a new direction?

In the early days of my lay-off I even got the chance to witness to my boss.  Well witness is perhaps the wrong word.  I didn’t share the gospel story with him per se.  But I got a chance to BE Christian in my response to the layoff and all the processes that followed.  He constantly marveled at my calm and said that I was taking this whole mess far better than he was himself.  And every single time he said that,  I got to look him in the eyes and say “God is good. I believe that He is in control and that I will be fine”  I said that to him so many times in fact that it got down to a kind of short hand where I would just look at him, smile and say one word.  “God.”

What a privilege that was.

But was that the purpose? Was that the reason for me to be layed-off?  So that I could be this witness of calm and joy during a storm to my former boss?

I don’t know.

I may never know.

But here is the key to the whole thing

I don’t need to know.

It is enough for me to know that God is good.  I can trust that God did have a purpose in my job layoff and that it was all about HIS Glory.


One thought on “it was a total shock

  1. Yeah. This semester is a nightmare (I’m teaching 24 hours …..).

    I’m currently attending the Lutheran Church with a friend of mine, and this has really been an eye-opening experience. The liturgy has always interested me — in large part because of the SCA (hey, I’m your basic Baptist, what do I know?). But Pastor Steffans keeps talking about the path that God puts you on — and how you should walk it; just like Christ walked the path to Gethsemane even though he didn’t want to either. I hadn’t actually given anything up for Lent, because I wanted it to be “meaningful” — and over the first couple of weeks as he preached (and I do love his preaching, he’s so enthusiastic!!), I knew what it was.

    I needed to give up my discontent at being here. I need to give up my “dream” of getting the job at Kennesaw. I understand this doesn’t mean that I”m going to get it — it also doesn’t mean that I”m *not* going to get it — the point is … God put me **HERE** and I need to be content with that. I don’t think that this means that I’ll stop looking, but I have stopped being miserable because I’m not where *I* want to be doing what *I* want to be doing. I’m where God has put me, and I should rest in that (well, as much as I can teaching 24 hours with some 300 students), but you know what I mean.


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