Before you even read this I need to state that I am not a theologian. These are just my personal musings and I welcome anyone who wants to politely discuss or debate these concepts.
Some of my best thinking is happening on the drive to and from work these days. I’ve been using the commute as a time of silence. A time to just let my brain have space to ramble a bit. Don’t worry, I am paying attention to the road. Anyway the following is a series of thoughts that I worked my way through the other day and I wanted to write down the progression.
Faith assumes that I have doubts. Questions.
Doubts are a necessary under layer to belief.
Let me explain.
If you have facts, laid out in logical progression, you can become convinced of an idea.
But that does not involve faith at all.
Faith is believing in something you can’t see. Can’t prove. Can’t substantiate.
And that is a struggle for me.
I am constantly tempted to think that others are more sure of their faith. Somehow sure of God and that He really created us and that we aren’t just kidding ourselves.
But then today I thought again about the idea that Faith is what pleases God.
He is pleased by our act of believing. Present Active Participle Believing.
Not just believe once and then you are done and everything is now certain.
But the act of believing.
Again and again and again.
And then it hit me.
If I don’t have any doubts, if I don’t have any questions – I wouldn’t be able to actively believe.
If the act of belief is a continual thing, then it follows that some doubts, some questions will ALWAYS remain. They may change over time, but I will always have to put my faith into play.
But God, wait a minute don’t you want me to get to a point where I know it all and I am sure of everything and…
Oh wait. That doesn’t sound right.
So hang on a minute, Lord are you really saying that you are PLEASED when I choose, each and every moment to believe in a God I can’t wrap my brain around? A story my mind can’t fully understand and a love my heart will never fully grasp?
And the answer I am hearing is
And think about it – would you want to worship a God who could be comprehended, defined and plumbed by human understanding?
Nope. I like my mysteries to be nice and inexplicable.