So this is me. Deirdre. Deirdre at Tea

Why am I creating a blog? Well in part as a modern version of a diary. I hate to write long-hand, but I love to type, so perhaps I’ll actually keep this up. also I need a diary. I need some way to come back a year from now and check to see if I’m still as messed up as I am today!

I’m a wife, a daughter, a choir member, a pet owner, a sister, a friend, an office worker a Christian, a cook, an artist, an avid reader, a re-enactor, an aunt. But coloring it all is one inescapable fact.

I’m. Not. A. Mommy.

***I should mention that as of 8.29.08 that all changed, but I’m leaving my initial post “as is” so you can understand the progression****

We’ve tried everything medical that we were willing to go through and had no success. Unless you count the two perfect little embryos that made it to 22 days before failing to “stick”

So now we are waiting to adopt……………….

Like so many infertile women, it’s not ALL I’m about, but it’s a huge part of my consciousness. There’s never a moment where it’s not there, just under the surface, waiting to overwhelm me again. So while this blog won’t always be about infertility and my subsequent emotional struggles, the subject will come up a lot.

Welcome to my blog. Enjoy.


*******UPDATE *******

We are “pregnant on paper” which means we have been matched, we’ve spoken to the couple and we now have only to wait and pray for a healthy birth sometime in October/November

*******UPDATE to the UPDATE********

We have terminated our relationship to the couple. They have lied about numerous things and we are back to waiting for a new match.


We have been matched again. Steve and Mel are the birth family and we are all very excited. She is due Sept 25, so pray that she goes to term.

*****UPDATE of JOY******

Virginia was born 1:25 a.m. on 8/29/08 weighing 5 pounds 1 ounce and measuring 17 inches long.  She is amazing.




10 thoughts on “About

  1. It was the theme at my wedding rehearsal tea. Everybody was supposed to wear hats. Only a few brave souls did though.

    Martin’s 80+ year old mother showed up in the most outlandish outfit! White pants, a skin tight white lace top and a big red hat. It was a scream.


  2. Deirdre,

    I’ve just recently become aware of the connection between DES and infertility and other reproductive-tract problems. You can read more about it on my childbirth education blog–they’re two of the most recent posts. It is estimated that over half of the people who were exposed to DES in utero don’t know it; many women were prescribed it without their knowledge in the form of prenatal vitamins. I don’t know if this information will help you at all, but maybe it will. If you recognize your body in the list of potential DES symptoms (http://www.aaronlevinelaw.com/ has a comprehensive listing of them, but then, he’s a DES lawyer, so he would be scrounging for every case he could get ) then maybe you will gain some insight into yourself and your body, and actually discover that your infertility is not (directly, anyway) God cursing your body, but rather a dangerous drug that should never have been prescribed to anybody, but was given to your mother when she was pregnant with you.


    I do not in any way believe that God is cursing my body or my life.


  3. Adoption is a GREAT option! We are adoptive parents, too. I have learned that parenting an adopted child CAN BE and very often is, very different than parenting a birth child.
    “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be ADOPTED as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will…” – Ephesians 1: 4,5

    God bless you!


  4. I saw the title of your post “Is there a bucket deep enough?” on the wordpress.com homepage and it caught my eye.

    WOW my blog was on the WordPress homepage?? cool.


  5. Hello Deirdre,
    I love the hat. We did a tea party birthday last year for Anna, and it was awesome with all those hats!
    Congratulations on your cute baby girl. Sounds like you are one of the happiest mommies alive.
    All the best,

    Hi. Welcome to the blog and welcome back to my life. MuRho Sigma was so long ago, but there were so many neat people. I’m so glad facebook is putting some of us back in touch


  6. Deirdre, I stumbled across your blog via Living Proof! Wow! You are an encouragement to me. I was recently diagnosed with poly-cystic ovarian syndrome(PCOS). I’m single and don’t plan to get married anytime soon. The amount of sadness when the doctor told me that my chances of getting pregnant were pretty slim overwhelmed me. I’m still coming to terms with it. I’m so happy I “ran” into you! Looking forward to reading more from you!

    Hello Siesta! Welcome to my blog. Please remember that God is bigger than any doctor’s diagnosis of you. I have a friend who warned her hubby just before marriage that she had been told she would have trouble conceiving and then BAM she was pregnant in the first month of marriage. Doctors don’t know everything.

    That said, please let God lead you and give you peace. The biggest moment I remember in my whole infertility journey was the moment when I felt at peace. I was suddenly and inexplicably OK with it. While sitting in a doctor’s office getting the final word on my last IVF “failure” no less!

    It warms my heart to read that anything I have written here is an encouragement to some one else. Please come back and comment often! *grin*



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