“my life is rough right now, but I take comfort in knowing that God won’t give me more than I can handle”
I’ve seen this concept popping up a lot recently in statuses on facebook, twitter, google+ and it keeps cropping up in conversations as well.
Frankly it makes me want to scream.
NO!
I don’t care if Mother Teresa of Calcutta said it, it is NOT BIBLICAL.
God promised to give us MORE than we, as frail, fallible, fickle human beings could possibly handle.
Why?
So that HE could step in and show off HIS DIVINITY.
His POWER in our weakness
His HEALING in our extremity
His MERCY in spite of our biggest messes
You will ALWAYS be struggling against an overwhelming flood of something in your life. But you can trust that God is Good (I John 1:5) and that your purpose in this life is not to show off your own ability to get through the struggles but to point to your savior and say HE is the reason I got through it.
God wants to give you more than you can take so that everyone around you will see you weather the storm…and then they will ask HOW. How did you get through that? and you can quietly point them to your Lord.
the long over-due thank you post from my 2012/13 skating season and first trip to the U.S. Figure Skating Adult Nationals
Behind every skater,
of any level,
stands a coach….who DIDN’T kill me on my worst days.
In the bleachers at every event clap the friends who stand by me…
even when I am down and don’t display my best side.
On the drive home, hands clenched on the steering wheel drive the husbands, brothers, parents and friends being tortured by tears they can’t comfort or endless re-hashings of all the tiniest details of the things that went right (or wrong) with the program THIS time.
And at home waits a weary grandmother,
proud of her daughter and a four year old who can’t understand why mommy didn’t bring home a shiny medal this time because she always thinks I’m a winner.
I didn’t win…at nationals. I placed 6th in one event and 5th in the other. But still, I am grateful.
Grateful for the chance to even go to Nationals. After a year filled with injuries, coaching changes, sickness and a myriad of set-backs, honestly even qualifying was a victory worth celebrating but I was too busy setting my sights on the next goal.
Now almost a month later, I am celebrating and finally ready to send out the thank you post.
To Martin, for endless hours playing with Ginny and keeping things running and for backrubs that kept me on my feet when I just wanted to lay down and never move again.
To my parents, for endless hours playing with Ginny and keeping things running (grin)
To Julie for understanding that sometimes we can all get crabby. And for helping me find (and visit) every single Starbucks on the way home from Elllenton, FL to Atlanta, GA. Julie, I need to give you a special thank you for putting up with my singing for the last two hours of that drive back from Florida. I know it’s not my greatest talent, but it DOES keep me awake at the wheel….
Oh, and to Martin again for all the various cuts of music we went through. You are a genius honey. Pure and simple.
To the folks at A.C. Chiropractic Spinal & Wellness center for being willing to venture into new territory to keep me functioning.
To Annette for “interpreting Davin” for us all.
To my neighbors Liza & Bryon and the kids, for just being there, being normal and delightful. I know I couldn’t have done this without you.
To my previous coaches: Dawn Malone, Chuck Miller, Tim Zinc and Deena Bryant – thanks for helping put down a foundation that I will build on for the rest of my life.
To Sarah Bolocan, thank you for being willing to try just about anything I asked when it comes to new dress ideas.
To Kylie for just being yourself. Watching you on the ice is very peaceful.
To all the skating moms at the Duluth Ice Forum – thanks for encouraging all us adult skaters. It means a lot that you guys actually like us adult skaters and don’t see us as comedic or pitiful.
To Dr. John Xeroegeanes and the staff at Emory Sports Medicine for putting me back together…do three knee surgeries qualify me for a volume discount?
To Stephanie for being fun on the ice. Sometimes I need to be reminded to just play and have fun.
To my hair stylist Angelia Leong as we journeyed through finally finding a haircut that works for my life style and looks good on the ice.
To Rob, as a guy afloat in a sea of female drama we must be an endless source of entertainment for you. Thanks for being such a great representative for our club and for Adult skating in general.
To PJ, Lou, Ben & Meredith Scafidi. I don’t know that I can ever possibly put into words all that your family has done for me. Starting with taking us into your hearts in Greenville and keeping us there. I will never forget your kids playing cards with Martin so I could get the hotel room packed up. Or you FIERCELY defending the chair that Martin’s foot was propped up on at the restaurant.
To Davin….just thank you. Thank you for all the times you didn’t smack me across the rink. You know you wanted to.
And thank you for pouring yourself heart and soul into your own skating. Watching you skate is a joy and being able to count myself as one of your students is a privilege.
Yes, I am proud. Proud of going to Nationals. Proud of skating two beautiful programs that were the best of my season. Proud of everything I accomplished in the 2012/13 season……and ready to go out and do it all again.
Ever done that thing where you sit in the hall, with the lights out and listen to your child cry?
Most parents are familiar with this as a way to try to get a child to learn to go to sleep on their own. Learning to put yourself to sleep is a life skill that we all need. But it doesn’t just happen, you have to learn it. and learning is, sometimes, a pain-filled process.
I’m facing that with Ginny right now. We used to have a pretty solid routine and she knew how to go to sleep by herself. We were very good at the whole “never put her down asleep, always put her in her crib when she is drowsy, but still awake” thing. She learned her lessons very well and we hardly ever had to get up in the night or spend hours begging her to just please go back to sleep.
We thought she had learned that life lesson perfectly. Chalk one up for the awesome parenting duo of Martin & Deirdre. Congrats. Your child has passed this test. Please move forward. You won’t ever have to learn this one over again.
WRONG.
Over time we let the routine slip. Inch by inch we moved so far away from a child that puts herself to bed with no fuss that we are now living in the land of a tyrant who never gets enough sleep herself, and never lets papa get enough sleep. She crawls into bed with us in the middle of the night, she insists on a movie to fall asleep to, and papa must sit down with her to watch it. Which leaves papa asleep on the sofa and Ginny getting just enough of a nap between 8 and 10 p.m. that when Martin finally wakes up to take her upstairs, she wakes up pretty thoroughly and either makes him read to her half the night or begs for another movie.
Martin’s poor tired, sleep deprived soul is not strong enough to resist her at that hour, so she pretty much gets whatever she wants.
But the lack of sleep is getting to be a serious problem. Not just for Martin, but for Ginny’s friends and playmates. She is a crabby, bossy spoiled, violent little terror these days.
Ginny is unhappy. Martin is unhappy. I am unhappy. and Ginny’s friends, school-mates and teachers are definitely unhappy.
Don’t get me wrong, Ginny is also blindingly intelligent, adorable, sweet, loving and kind. But she can go from one extreme to the other so fast it is really scary and I’m convinced that half of it is a lack of sleep.
So, we are going to try the old, “sorry, I know you don’t want to, but you have to go to bed now” routine again.
Which means her parents are going to find themselves in that hall again…listening to her cry.
Why am I telling you all this?
to make myself look bad? no.
to belittle the parenting skills of myself or my spouse? no. Martin is a hero as far as I’m concerned.
to humiliate my child? no. she’s just being a kid.
It’s because of a song that got sung in church this week.
Nichole Nordeman’s “Why are they screaming”
We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I’d finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said “Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I’ll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can’t you do something?
He looks as though He’s gonna cry
you said he was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?”
Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross
And it said, “Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can’t You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?”
“My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I’m watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I’ve heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You’ll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father’s side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die”
is the link to the song.
The whole song is breathtaking and was presented by a teenager in our church in a very moving way. She didn’t sing it perfectly, she sang it with absolute participation and consequently brought the audience to tears. The verse that really gets me is the one about God the Father listening to His son’s screaming and having to wait for the time to be right to respond.
I know that my sitting in the hall listening to Ginny crying doesn’t even come close, but it gives me a tiny glimpse into “that dark hour”
And makes the coming of Easter just a tiny bit more real to me this year.
We all love to get good gifts, but how many of us are good at giving really good thoughtful gifts. I’ll admit, I struggle.
And even when I manage to think of something absolutely prefect to give, most of the time it is outside of my budget, or there are time constraints that make it just not possible to accomplish.
But I got a reminder this past Saturday that there are some gifts that are precious, perfect, always appreciated, and free.
I had to go to a funeral on Saturday, (bear with me here. it will all make sense in a minute, I promise. just keep reading….) and I needed to take Ginny with me. Martin had commitments that could not involve a four year old, so she had to come with me. I knew it wasn’t going to be any fun for her, but she can be pretty good about sitting still so I knew it wasn’t going to hurt her to go.
The funeral was for a Sunday School teacher that I had when I was very young. She also did substitute teaching at the Christian school I went to and her son was a young man I looked up too alot. In a “6th graders distant crush on a rugged senior soccer player” kind of way.
The church where the funeral was held is the same church I grew up in and my mother worked in. First Alliance Church in Atlanta. While my mom worked, my brother and I used to play all over the church. We would do commando crawl races under the pews. We played hide and seek and tag everywhere (and I do mean EVERYWHERE, even the baptismal). We even got in trouble once for eating up all the communion crackers. We thought they were just crumbled up saltines. During services my mom sat close to the front row. She had a real talent for disciplining us silently and unobtrusively. I remember that quite clearly, but I can also recall times when I would get sleepy and put my head in her lap. Mother would do what all mothers do…trace letters or just random patterns on my back and run her fingers through my hair as I drifted.
okay, so you get the picture. My mother and I were heading into a building that we hadn’t been in since 1987. To attend the funeral of this dear lady, and to see people we hadn’t seen in forever. Bringing my child along just made sense. She can be a conversation piece. A distraction if this whole experience gets too intense or awkward.
Besides, she has this adorable smocked dress. It’s black with tiny white snowmen up around the collar. With her fair coloring and those big blue eyes……how could I resist the opportunity to show her off?
Stay with me…there is a point.
So we are all in the car. Me, my mom and Ginny.
And Ginny, naturally asks “Where are we going and why am I all dressed up?”
pause.
me: “okay Ginny, when mama was a little girl she had a sunday school teacher she loved very much. That sweet lady had a good life. She had grandkids and was very happy, but now she is gone to heaven to be with Jesus and her family is very sad. We are going to go give her family hugs”
Ginny “okay”
Then she goes back to playing with her stuffed toy in the back seat and my mom and I embark on a discussion of old times at First Alliance Church.
We get to the church, walk in and wow….. it is different, and the same all at once. There were people we know and people we used to know and people we don’t know at all. The service was beautiful and the music really got Ginny’s attention. It was a long service though and by the end of it I was whispering to Ginny all about the special treat (high tea with mama and grammy) that she would get if she could just sit still for a little while longer. Eventually the service was over and we filed quietly out into the vestibule.
At which point, my child enthusiastically reaches for all these complete strangers and starts handing out hugs.
Some people she grabbed around the legs, some she pulled on their sleeve till they bent down or picked her up to see what she wanted, and once she reached out from my arms to hug the mother of a friend of mine from middle school. She literally attack-hugged the whole crowd….and it was like watching the sun come up to see the effect she had on that room.
It was so simple. She gave comfort. She gave smiles and hugs because they were needed. She didn’t know these people. But she blessed them right where they were.
Yes, my child is adorable, but that’s not the point.
The point for me is that so often when someone preaches on using our gifts they talk about time, money and talents. The talents they refer to seem to be the specialised sort. Like being able to sing, or preach, or organize or build things. To me, those things are nice but what I think gets overlooked are the little gifts.
a note (but of course to write an encouraging note you have to have at least some familiarity with the person)
a hug (but most people, gregarious four-year-olds aside need to have some acquaintance with a person before hugging them)
a smile. Smiles can be given to anyone, anywhere without knowing a single thing about the other person.
What? you don’t think a smile is a gift? When was the last time someone just beamed when you walked into a room? Remember how that made you feel? Well you can make other people feel just like that. I call that a gift.
I have a challenge for you.
Next time you walk along in the mall, or on your way to or from your car in a parking lot, try giving the gift of a smile to literally everyone whose eye you can catch. That way they don’t think you are just smiling to yourself. Make sure you catch their eye and then smile right at them. Make them feel like you smiled because they crossed your path.
Let me know how it goes. I’m betting you will be addicted to this form of gift giving in just one session.
oh, and one other blessing rained down on my head during that service….Ginny put her head in my lap and I got to play with her hair and trace letters on her back in that same sanctuary where I can clearly recall my mom doing the same to me.
This picture makes me so happy. I keep looking and looking and looking at it. The blessings in my life are abundant. There are the obvious ones; Happy, healthy child, happy healthy husband.
And the not quite so obvious ones.
Martin is standing. Upright. After his broken leg in April life was rough for a while. With the help of family and neighbors we got through it.
Church name tag. Not visible, but I know it is there. He works for God. That makes me very deeply happy.
Martin’s Smile. Yes, he still smiles like that when he sees me. and I smile right back. Wouldn’t you?
Martin has lost some weight. We both need to lose more. But we are way healthier than we were a year ago. Progress.
The picture is taken on our church grounds. I grew up being very comfortable at our church becasue my mother worked there. It was like a home to me. It makes me happy that Ginny is growing up in a similar situation.
Ginny’s smile. I love her smile in this picture. It is not a “picture perfect” expression…but it shows how much she adores her papa.
The pink rose petal in Ginny’s hand is special to me too. I don’t like pink. I’ve tried to steer Ginny towards purples and blues. She looks stunning in denim blue because of her blue eyes. But she has a mind of her own, and in color preferences she is starting to choose pink. I enjoy watching her figure out what she likes for herself, especially when her choices run counter to mine in little things like color preferences. She is gaining independence.
I love how tightly Martin is holding her, and how enthusiastic Ginny is about being in her papa’s arms. Security. Trustworthy.
The grey in Martin’s beard makes me smile, because he didn’t have any when we started dating. I have watched it happen. That represents years and mileage together. Longevity.
Ginny’s hair blowing in the wind makes me happy. She chose that haircut and it is great on her. I was always into long hair on little girls, but she rocks the short hair look and is completely little girlie and feminine while having a hassle-free haircut. Win-win!
Martin takes time to play. We had things to do and places to be, but he got out of the car and came back to play with us as Ginny examined roses and I snapped pictures. Then he hoisted her up and headed for the car. I said “wait, I want a picture of that” and instead of being annoyed with me for yet another delay, he turned and beamed at me while Ginny clung to his head. That is one patient, fun, loving, kind, generous man.
Thank you Lord. You have been so so so very good to me.
My favorite holiday “can’t do without it” recipe is called Hippocras
No it does NOT involve hippos. Ugh. Think of a hot version of Sangria, heavy on the cinnamon. If you want the history on this yummy beverage, click here
Here’s what I do at home.
Set crock pot on counter.
Turn on high.
Pour in 2 gallons of apple juice
Find cheap red wine, pour in at least 2 cups. You can do more depending on your tastes
Taste.
Cut up a seedless orange in slices. Remove any seeds, but leave the rinds on. Add to crock pot. You can also add some orange juice as well. But be careful not to add too much orange juice. It can send the whole tone of the mixture over too much towards the sangria side. Sangria is fine…for summer. This isn’t summertime.
Add spices to taste. Spices to choose from are:
Cinnamon STICKS (never add ground spices to a drink mixture. All they will do is float to the top and get in people’s teeth) If you can’t wait for the cinnamon sticks to work their slow magic just add some Candy Red Hots to the pot. They will dissolve and give you the taste you were looking for.
Whole Cloves. Here again, please stay away from the ground spices. A trick to keep the cloves from floating into your way when you are trying to ladle out your punch is to stick them into the rind of the orange slices when you originally put the orange slices into the crock pot.
Sugar. Not too much. this is supposed to be a refreshing cup of cheer, not a sickly sweet dessert in a cup.
Stir.
Taste.
Add more stuff till you get a balance of taste that you find appealing.
Taste some more.
Oh heck, go get a mug and have a bit more.
Now go take your mug and sit down on the porch or in front of your fire. There, that’s much better isn’t it?
and that’s how you serve it. Hot and unpretentious. This is a “kick off your shoes, stretch your feet towards the fire, curl up on the couch” type of beverage.
There are some side benefits to having Hippocras in a crock pot on your counter:
1. Your house will smell heavenly!
2. And if you make sure to turn the crock pot on and let the contents heat all the way up at least once a day, you can keep this going, on the counter all season long. Yes, you heard me. All season long. I normally start a pot of this stuff in early November and keep it going till the end of January. Just add more liquid (apple juice, wine, orange juice) depending on what it needs. This means you have an excuse to taste test it at least once a day.
3. You are ALWAYS ready for guests….or at least your house will SMELL ready.
You can also make a “virgin” version of this using just cinnamon tea, apple juice, orange juice and the spices. But I love the warm welcome of a hot mug of wine on a cold fall/winter evening.
Enjoy!
So tell me, what is your “I can’t live through the holidays without THIS” recipe?
I don’t know about you, but I like to concentrate on one thing at a time.
Most of us feel pulled in 275 different directions everyday.
Carpool, school, breakfast, exercise?, errands, cleaning, more carpool, meetings, afterschool stuff, dinner? And sleep? Maybe?
But did you know that you were put on this earth with ONE PURPOSE?
ONE goal.
ONE item to take precedence over all others on your to-do list.
BRING GLORY to GOD.
That’s it.
It’s that simple.
Nothing else is as important as that one task.
So while you are rushing around each day, remember that through it all should run the constant theme
Glorify God.
Make that carpool line a chance to be kind to other parents. Give them the gift of a smile as you all sit in line.
Help your child view school as a place to represent God well each an everyday.
Breakfast. I know, most of us aren’t conscious at breakfast time, but try to cobble together a few brain cells and pray a blessing at breakfast. It helps to start the day in the proper frame of mind.
Exercise. You don’t need to go to a “Christian aerobics” class to make God a part of your exercise plan. I’m going to say something potentially controversial here. DO NOT exercise if you are only doing it because you hate your current body shape. Self-hate is only a temporary motivator. Exercise because the Creator put you here to bring Himself glory. And you can do that best when you are HEALTHY.
Errands. You are a missionary in that check out line. You have a gift to bring to the people all around you. The gift of God’s joy! Show it.
Cleaning. Yes I know. Boring topic. But honestly, look at it this way, if your best friend loaned you a special vase or item of furniture, you would make sure you took care of it so that you could give it back to her with your thanks and in good condition, right? If you think about it, everything here on this earth belongs to God. He has simply loaned it to you (the earth is the LORDS and everything in it). Yes even your carpet. So take care of all that loaner stuff you are wearing, sitting on, viewing, and driving around in. Not for the sake of the stuff, but for the sake of the one who loaned it to you.
The same goes for the people in your life. God put them in your life for a reason. Take care of them too.
The most profound things God ever does in our lives are never convenient. Sometimes God wants us to fight for what He has a mind to give us. Remember, He gave Joshua and the Israelites the Promised Land then told them to go in there and fight for their place in it. Sometimes we have to fight traffic and drive around the church seven times to get to some Promise Land. (Beth Moore)
