Ever since I started posting about our upcoming adoption, I’ve been made aware of an entire community out there in blog land of people who feel that adoption is wrong and that the birth-mothers are being manipulated and abused by a system that is designed to rip their babies from their arms and convince them that they are not cut out to take care of a child.
There is a huge community that seems, at first glance, to be built on resentment and they seem to feel that their mission in life is to convince as many natural mothers as possible to keep their babies away from the well meaning (but inherently evil) community of parasites (ie, women who can’t have babies naturally) who are waiting like vultures to swoop in and steal babies from their rightful, loving homes.
Now I’m not going to deny that there have been, and still continue to be young mothers who have been talked into giving up their children.
this. should. not. happen. EVER. No question. It is tragic and sad and horrifying beyond my ability to comprehend.
But, to revile, attack and verbally pummel women who are wanting to shelter and love and raise a child who would otherwise go UN-WANTED, is also wrong.
My husband and I have already been matched with a mother who wants to give us her child to raise. They are a married couple who approached the agency themselves, after mature and careful deliberation. THEY chose US. No one coerced them. No one convinced them that this was best for them or the baby.
And there’s more. Since the time that we committed to this couple, we have received two calls from other agencies. In each instance a pregnant mother walked into a hospital, and AS SHE WAS GOING INTO LABOR AND DELIVERY told the hospital staff “hey, by the way, you guys need to find a couple to take this baby, cause when I leave here, I ain’t taking it with me”
That just blows my mind.
So this is my message to the anti-adoption community:
Please, all the anti-adoption people out there. Please understand, I know that you do have a real beef. I know that there are folks out there who have been fast-talked into giving up their children when they shouldn’t have. they should have been given counseling that encompassed ALL their actual, legal options (even the ones I personally disagree with) But please don’t assume that just because I’m adopting that I condone the coercion of young mothers. Because I don’t.
That doesn’t change the fact that I am glad that my husband I were the ones in line when this particular couple decided to come looking for a family for their child. I believe that God made sure we were in the right place at the right time so that we could be there for this baby. Because God knew they were going to give him/her up. I don’t believe that God hurt them to make them give up a baby for my sake, but I do believe he put us in a position to be available to help this family and love this baby.
I know there are people who will disagree with me. and as long as we all disagree politely and rationally, I’d love to talk about it. If I’ve said something here that you don’t agree with, or you feel is just plain wrong, go ahead and ask me about it. let’s discuss it. I love discussion.
even though this match did not end up working out, I STILL believe that God had us in their lives for a season for a reason. Perhaps it was just to be loving and kind to them and to be a good witness. Perhaps we planted a seed that will eventually grow in their hearts. Who knows. But the failure of the match to result in a “gain” for us does not mean that it was a failure in God’s eyes.